About This Blog

I wasn’t prepared. But God knew.

22 years old, a newlywed, pregnant, and fleeing from my marriage. So much change in a short amount of time. I was fearful, overwhelmed, discouraged and ashamed. And even in this storm—no, especially in this storm, I see him tearing down the old me and building up something new.

Young, Christian, married, and slowly realizing I was sleeping with someone who wasn't at all who he pretended to be before marriage. It sadly started on the honey moon, with his real self coming out. It was weird, I was confused and didn’t know what to do with it, so I just moved on. A couple months later things got worse, now he’s confessing sins he never told me about and lying about them as well. Saying he just started struggling with them. I believed him. Until a month later unfolds and it’s habitual, it’s everyday, all day, and he’s getting violent thoughts towards me. Telling me how he can use everyday objects to hurt me. Being an unfaithful husband. And worse things I won’t mention now. I was a newlywed, alone (as we stopped going to our home church because “the Lord led him to”) and with a man who I was then realizing isn't saved. He later admits that he doesn’t want Christ, and he dropped a couple tears because he felt he was never allowed to say something like that growing up (he’s a pastors kid). But why is this all coming out after? This wrath, this immorality, this deceit and unfaithfulness, this violence? So much turmoil, so much confusion, so many demonic things happening in such a short period of time. I reached out for help from people in my home church and got mixed responses. And only from a few I received wise advice, so I knew I had to get out. Sleeping with the door locked, with a man outside the room saying he’s never loved you, saying things causing you to fear your life, and saying he cannot feel empathy for you is not a safe place to be. A man having sexually perverse thoughts about men, woman and children…including the one in my womb…his. No matter who was telling me to stay, no matter how attached I felt my heart, soul and body was to him, my safety…and my soon to be child’s safety was important. And that’s not a small thing. This was not a marriage God intended his people to be in. If only I have the wisdom before hand to properly make those decisions. And that’s a main reason why I’ve created this blog. Not only to reach the first time moms, the single moms, or even veteran moms, but for the women/men needing the wisdom to navigate life, relationships and potential spouses. For the unhurt women screening potential husbands and the betrayed ones who have been hurt not only by the person they were supposed to trust most with their life but by the church and by their peers when they needed them the most.